Sunday, December 14, 2008

Perfect and Free Virtual Gift Via Web Applications

This year, like years before and years to come, one can get very LUCKY with gift giving; the FREE kind. No postage required, ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY, no time consumed in long lines or searching aisle after aisle of unnecessary objects, and no need to leave the comfort of your favorite couch by your favorite draperies beside your favorite picture of Aunt Sylvia. It's truly something to take advantage of... Or is it?

Let us look at your possible category choices if you are using the ever popular My Christmas Tree application, shall we?

recently popular, Christmas decor, Christmas spirit, pets and animals, flowers, Christmas cookies (new), celebrity dates, clothes for her, clothes for him, food and drink, jewelry, shoes, handbags and purses, perfume and fragrances, sexy and naughty, movies and tv, for men, sports, cool gadgets, watches

At first glance I thought, "Oh, what fun. Let's see what I can find for some of my friends on
Facebook." These are mostly people I am acquaintances with, or old wonderful friends or flames that I have not seen in fifteen years (some for longer), as well as those who were never close to me to begin with but one never knows. And so began the scan through. This was easy enough. There were not many to choose from in each category, making things relatively easy. Painless, however, it was not. 

Flowers, I suddenly realized were quite impersonal. Here in the states, and perhaps elsewhere, they are overdone, to put it mildly. They have become the BROMIDIC, gift from one layman to another.

One, in the end, worries greatly about whether their gifts will be accepted with gladness, taken in and cared for, or reflected upon with fondness in the years to come. In regards to flowers, I found myself asking the following questions. Had someone died? Did you, the giver, do something wrong? Did you not really care about them? Would the receiver be opposed to the color? Would flowers elicit an allergic reaction at the thought of them?

Clothes for him and her, well, this is a twofold problem gift. Questions one must ask themselves here would be: ARE YOU dating? ARE THEY your child? ARE YOU SAYING this person needs a new wardrobe? And if you can answer yes to any of these questions, WHY in the bloody hell are you not at the store getting them something that will caress the skin, comfort, or make a true fashion statement? 

Sexy and naughty, a spirited and sportive category, I thought, may prove to provide me with a lively and playful gift. Edible underwear? IF this is the message you want to bring to the table but are too afraid to actualize this fantasy, then this may be an IDEAL choice. KEEP IN MIND that your friend Sally or Bob may consider this a joke, friendly or otherwise, and your dreams may become scathed at the click of a mouse. 

No, you may not see anything as special as this.

A blowup doll (male or female) is also available. This is an ideal choice if you are wanting to be disowned, or if you don't mind the POSSIBILITY that this doll gift could cause your friend to wonder exactly what you think of his or her sex life; if they do not have one, this honestly could cause a JUMP off a bridge. At any rate, this is a dishonest gift with unfaithful undertones. 

If your friends are not aware of this free virtual gift giving application, they will be, because they will have to accept the application to enter AND ACCEPT this gift. In other words, they will eventually be able to find the gift category in which the gift once resided.

So whilst thinking your sass and friskiness will be APPRECIATED, under NO circumstances must one EVER chose the following items from this sexy and naughty category. Sunglasses. Boxers. You will hurt their feelings if they have any hope of you; and if they do not, their ego will be CRUSHED at the thought of your possibly thinking that they are not woman, or man, enough, for TRUE sexy or naughtiness. Unfortunately this category yields only discomfort and anxiety at EVERY turn. 

Cool gadgets are also a letdown. Not only because giving one of these is a probable reminder that you or the receiver cannot afford to buy them in the first place, but also because you would not buy them in the un-virtual world, if you could, for someone else; unless you THINK that the receiver is a charity case and you BELIEVE that flaunting your money inappropriately is good manners, and accepted worldwide. 

At this point, I stopped and thought hard about the reason I was interested in sending a virtual gift in the first place. FREE ONE-STOP SHOPPING and the possibility that my gift would be met with open arms and heartfelt appreciation. 

I knew, then, what I would send to my facebook friends this holiday season. A simple, virtual, unanimated, snow globe, in a sturdy looking square red Christmas box. 


In my mind, this says I am thinking about you, with fondness, but not overwhelmingly so, I am sending you something cute to look at for a moment then discard, but to again remember; that someone thought of you and cared enough to give you something that is environmentally friendly, a gift from the heart, a gift of childhood dreams. 

With any HOPE, I will NOT have brought up TERRORIZING memories, as snow globes at times CAN. In other words, there just may be no PERFECT GIFT, virtual or otherwise. Because, unfortunately, the thought COUNTS.

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