Singing the Barbie Doll Blues

Barbie. Famous for decades among little girls and women alike.

She stirs up controversy. She is ridiculed for her beauty and grace. She is collected, accessorized, and, mated. Her reputation is blemished to say the least; yet she always comes out on top. She is a superstar.*

Barbie's resume is impressive. She has withstood the test of time and is adored by her fans worldwide. You would be hard pressed, especially in this day and age, to speak to a single woman or girl who can look you in the eyes and say that she has never received a Barbie as a gift, or that she does not still have hers tucked away in a nice keepsake chest somewhere in the attic.

Turn to the female on your left and ask her to share with you a Barbie story, and chances are good that her cheeks will blush and they will be more than happy to oblige. Speak of dolls in general and the same will apply. Envisionhope was reminded of her own Barbie story after reading "A Little Girl's Fashion Faux Pas". She commented:

"When I was around ten-years-old I got a Barbie doll. She was the original version. I loved her high ponytail and perky attributes.

"A short time later I found that one of her bossomly features was indented. I have no idea how this occurred, but she bares the mark to this day. I loved her even though she wasn't perfect and realize now how this doll imitates life -- that true beauty is not skin deep."

I too was in awe of Barbie's "perky attributes". Unfortunately, I have no Barbie stories to share with the person to my right. Barbies were seen as a ridiculous, laughable, no-no and my mother never allowed me to play with them, not to even think about playing with them. Ever. "Silly", was the word she used, in a disgusted voice, when I'd tell her of a friend's new Fashion Barbie, or when we saw the ads on television, or passed them in the doll aisle. It wasn't because she (Barbie) was non-argumentatively disproportionate, or that she was a bimbo. It wasn't even her anorexic reputation**.

It was because of Barbie's mammalian protuberances. She said, "If you are old enough to play with a doll with boobs, you are old enough to have boobs of your own, in which case you should not be playing with dolls." She said this dismissively, as if I should have already known this information. That was the answer I repeatedly got, until I tired of it and decided to suffer alone in the quiet of my heart.

Apparently, Santa felt the same, because there was never a Barbie under the tinsel tree, waiting for me to tell her how lovely she looked. Nor where her accessories hiding gleefully in my stocking.

I don't expect to get one this year either, and I don't mind this one bit. You see, she was right about the boobies. Besides which, mine are anatomically correct.

I'm sorry Barbie, but we were not made for each other.

*This is not a fake Barbie! It is "Alfred Hitchcock The Birds Barbie"! She does come with all you see here, birds and handbag. She is from Matel. You may be hard pressed to find her, but she's out there, so have a yourself a google search!

**In 1965, Slumber Party Barbie came with her own weight loss book that suggested not eating was a good route to take.

A special thanks to Envisionhope for inspiring this Barbie blog.