Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Understanding your Pet Cats - The Felinespeak 3000

Ah, cats. Many think of cats as Godlike and royal. Others think cats believe they are Godlike and royal. Personally, I think cats are hysterical. I think they have lots to say. If you really pay attention to cats, and really tune into their vibes, attitudes, and brains, you will find many a funny story to write.

Cat loving people have an exceptional sense of humour. Cats love people with exceptional senses of humor.  For these reasons, cats and people have shared lives and homes for centuries, bringing many a smile and healthy heart beat to both species.

Even though certain humans and certain felines are made for each other, some people are better at translating these stories than other people.  This could stem from the fact that some people have purchased Felinespeak 3000s. The Felinespeak 3000, is perhaps the best cat speech translator to date. Cat's of course, have no trouble at all translating human humor, and therefore have never seen the need to develop such a device.

How it works:

Pretend to pet your cat's ear and scratch in the sand grain sized applicator.  Your cat won't notice, but your cat will certainly appreciate the offered grooming.  The wax in his or her ear will act like sticky gum, and hold the applicator in place.  Once implanted, the applicator will automatically catch brain signals and transfer those signals through the ear hairs and into the air like fm radio signals.  These signals can be picked up by the Felinespeak 3000 within 100 feet of the subject.  It's as simple as that. Extra applicators can be purchased separately.

If your cat suspects anything, simply buy it pretty things for distraction.

Luis Vuitton Pet Cat Collar and Leash
or perhaps

Blue Ice Beaded Pet Collar by Whiskerkisses from Etsy

Here is proof that the Felinespeaks 3000 really works, and proof to all non-believers that cats are truly hysterical:

And here's another example, just in case you're not convinced:

cat photos sources:

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Meet the Twins, Dan and Dan, and Share in Some Laughs

Today I met Dan and Dan from the UK on YouTube.  I think they're twins.  They're absolutely funny, and have lovely soothing voices.  We got off on the right foot and so I decided to indulge myself in some fun.  I drank some fruit punch and listened to them go on about some interesting things for about an hour or so.  Thought I'd introduce them to some of my friends before letting them meet my parents.  I know you'll love them.

So do get yourself a nice glass of fruit punch, it seems most appropriate, and enjoy.

(Dan and Dan don't always get along...)

As you can see, they may not even be friends?...

You're probably getting along very well by now, yes? Finding them quirky and funny and sweet are we?  Well, hold onto your horses, I have just found out that there has been some deception.

Uh, excuse me?

Well, I'm really not sure what to think or say. I just don't know Dan and Dan anymore. Or is it Dan and Dan and Dan and ...
*throws punch at the Dans face(s)*
*sobs wildly*

Excuse me.

*runs out of the room*

I don't think they'll be meeting my parents after all.

For more Dan and Dan, please visit "Dan and Dan - The First Sign of Madness" .
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