Sisters are Forever ~ Childhood Promises

When we grow old and baggy, my sister and I are going to sit on the front porch of one or the other's home. We will each be in our consecutive rockers. On the table between us there will be an icy cold pitcher of lemonade. In our laps, will be our hanky napkins and two sweaty glasses (one each). And we'll sip and we'll laugh and talk of memories and make up stories. We will love each other as we have always loved each other, and all will be well.

This was a promise between sisters, made what seems an eternity ago, a once upon a time before "grown up" things found their ways into our lives. The wonderful thing about sisters is that, through everything, dreams like this do still stand in the wake of a storm, waving a slow but sure and steady hand, gently in the wind.

We rarely hug, my sister and I. It is even a rare moment when the words, "I love you," are spoken for any reason whatsoever. Nor do we really look into each other's eyes in that way that sisters are suppose to do. They all go unsaid, undone, yet so wonderfully noticed.

I never forget who she is, or what she means to me. I never forget that I could never be who I am today were it not for her. And I never forget how desperately I wanted her to be born.

Sometimes I want to hold her in my arms as though she were my baby sister from all those years ago. Sometimes I want to talk to her on our walky-talky phones, whispering nothing all that amazing from our bedrooms, until we fall asleep. Sometimes want to bug her to death or play a game or just whatever.

And I always, always, want to make her laugh. I suppose this is because sisters just are. And being feels so very good. And feeling good always brings about a smile. And smiles have the tendency to bring on a laugh. And a laugh just is, just like a sister just is. And maybe that's why I love her so much.

I will ask her, years from now, while we're sitting in our rockers, sipping lemonade, what she thought of this post. She will lick her lips and lean her head back. Rocking, she will say, "Oh yeah." She'll giggle, make a funny face, turn her eyes to see if I was looking, and then go on rocking.

Yes, sisters are a wonderful thing.

Life's Little Pleasures Continued ~ Taking Your Pet on a Walk

There are countless benefits, as a pet owner, to taking your pet on a walk. But there are benefits for pets too. Not only will walking with you help keep your pet keep healthy and fit, he or she will also feel special. Your pet will feel loved. And most importantly, your pet will feel OH SO PRETTY!

Life's Little Pleasures Continued ~ What to do if You Walk Into Dancing Bears

Many of us are compelled to walk in the woods. And for good reason. Nature is all encompassing in the woods. The woods have their dangers, however, and we must all be prepared. It is quite possible that you may come across dancing bears. Do not panic. Instead, partake in the miracles of nature. Dance with them.

Life's Little Pleasures Continued ~ Walking in the Snow

Fantasizing about walking is not the same as actually walking, but it gives us a chance to be creative, and, perhaps, inspired. Anyone up for a brisk walk in the snow? Don't forget your coat and mittens.

LIFE'S LITTLE PLEASURES ~ How to Take a Walk

One of the most exciting moments in a child's life is the moment he or she takes his or her first steps. We often think of that moment as the most exciting moment for the parents, forgetting to realize that above and beyond that, each stride a child takes brings a self pride and a simple joy recognized as a great accomplishment.

Children do not take walking for granted. They revel in it. They can't get enough of it. They walk every chance they get.

As we get older, walking becomes a thing of the past. Something expected and taken for granted. How easily walking becomes a forgotten luxury. Thankfully, it's never too late to remember. Why, you can embrace walking every day.

It all starts with baby steps. Yes, Bob, baby steps. Baby steps out the door. Baby steps down the walk, baby steps across the street. Baby stepping on your way.

Here is a list of my top ten walking tips:

1. No destination in particular. Just be sure you don't walk more than 20 minutes before turning back. Unless you have stamina. But don't start walking back just because you think you might be getting tired after two minutes. Walking is rejuvenating and you're more than likely to get a second wind.

2. Comfy clothes. But not too comfy, you don't want to fall asleep. Not too baggy, you don't want your clothes to fall off.

3. Comfy shoes. (Note warnings for number two above.)

4. A smile. A smile will make you feel good and will prompt you to think nice thoughts. The key here, however, is to smile with your whole face. Get your eyebrows involved too. You'll notice the difference right away.

5. All your worries. That's right. bring them along. That smile on your face just may help you solve some problems. The time alone or with a friend in the fresh air will be the biggest blessing you could have hoped for. If you're worried about money, however, leave your calculator at home, but by all means think about what you can do to change your situation or plan a budget. Some of the greatest ideas come about during a walk in the great outdoors. Yes, the city streets are still considered a part of the great outdoors; you don't need the woods to take a great walk.

6. An umbrella if it's raining or you think it's going to. Of course, bringing an umbrella is a fabulous idea since the great outdoors offer much in the way of hazards. For example, if you'll be walking in a wooded area, an umbrella can protect you from bird droppings.

7. Speaking of rain, how's about a little drink of water for before, during, and after. You may not be thirsty when you leave, but dehydration comes on quick when you're in motion.

8. Don't let the weather get you down. Too hot? Bring a spray bottle. Snowing or cold? Take the time to bundle up. Hailing? Another great use for that umbrella of yours.

9. Bring along a pet if you have one. Sometimes pets help us relax, keep us occupied, keep us company. One of the biggest reasons people don't go on walks is because walking alone seems to make you feel alone, the same reason most people don't dine out alone. Let's not forget the amount of entertainment a pet can provide. For example, a cat on a leash may be challenging, but it can also be a source of entertainment, as well as a test of humor.

10. A first aid kit. you never know when you might fall and skin your knee. There is also the risk of getting bitten by your neighbor's nephew, or even a snake!

Think you're too old? Nonsense. Most people who live to be over a hundred have mastered the art of walking and kept at it. Too tired? Walking will give you energy and clear your mind. It's much easier to rest after a good walk. Pregnant? Childbirth will be a whole lot easier if you've been walking every chance you get. You and your muscles will be in better shape. And oddly enough, those ailments of pregnancy will seem to vanish into thin air. Don't have time because you work? Park your car at the end of the lot. Too many errands to run? Again, the end of the lot is your best bet. besides which, you'll be spending less time fighting for a spot and more time energizing your life!

I hope that these tips are encouraging and helpful. And remember, walking isn't only one of the best forms of physical exercises the mind and spirit. You deserve the best.

Send us your walking tips and experiences. We want to hear from YOU!

Looking for True Love at a Dinner Party

Last Sunday my husband and I attended the yearly Value Village Dinner Party, all mates invited and therefore perfect stalking ground to test out my theory on couples and true love.

Happy to be stuck, or stuck being happy? I had my theories, but would the answers show up on film? People always have their theories of couples. "Oh, they look so great together!" "They won't last for two seconds." "He's too good for him." "They are soooo in love." Some of their theories are based on long term knowledge of one or both of the people making up the couple. Other times it is based on a single particular meeting. Other times oppinion is made of two perfect strangers based on a single haphazard moment while walking down the street or passing at the mall. How correct can any of these oppinions be is anyones guess.

If we can make an opinion based on a single glance, could we not, then, make an opinion on a single photo? What if that photo were a correct representation of that couple? Could we coax their true feelings and capture them confronted via camera under the right circumstances?

Manned with a digital camera, I went table to table, couple to couple, seeking truth. We had all been there for a little while. It was an intimate room with intimate round tables. Dim lighting. Drinks all around. No one was drunk, yet, but everyone seemed to be in a good space and relaxed. I thought I'd take opportunity. The rule, one one photo per couple. This is what I came up with.

First we had Jackie and her date. I don't believe I ever caught his name. Uncertain of what their relationship was, I chose to simply take my photo from across the table, while they were looking into their dinner menus. I decided that these two would be the control team and moved on after a few more gulps of cabernet. (My rule was, one photo only, so no retakes on couple number one.) I would have to work it.

"The girls" did not come with dates. So they too receded to the control group by default. But they were comfortable, and happy, and got along just fine. If stuck, they would survive. And do very well, I might add.

Here we have Diane and Big Jack, the "real estate couple". I call them this because in this shot they look as though they are realtors at a convention, concerned with the camera more than they are with eachother. But you can see the lean in pose is unconvential, so this was good. While in real life I can say they are very happy to be stuck, here I had caught them off guard, my finesse not having risen to its full coaxing potential just yet. So, unfortunately, we will call Diane and Big Jack control group number three. It is the photo, not my past knowledge of them as a couple that counts.

Clara and her husband, Bobby. The perfect match. His love and pride for her beamed like the sun. he was happy to be stuck. Most happy indeed. With Clara, it's much harder to tell. Her manners are rather old school, and so, one must see deeper into the camera to see that this was quite a bit of "true emotion" she was shedding. Had I captured her offguard, you would have seen what the naked eye saw, sweetness at its finest. Perhaps a camera can't see everything?

Betsy and her husband? Both happy being stuck. Both were eager to pose for this shot. And as you could see, she would do anything to love and care for him and he would do anything to love and save her. He would risk his life. And he would live to tell the tale... We must agree, that true love is definitely here, happy to be stuck it is. Now we were getting somewhere.

As Isaac's wife could not make it due to lack of a nanny for the evening, Betsy's husband gallantly stood in for a photo. (News of my "show me how much you love eachother" photography was spreading now, and guards at the camera were beginning to deminish.) Both satisfied and confident enough in their love lives, they stood their ground and gave the silly-boy action, any camera loves to digest.

Bruce and his wife are happy to be swimming in the same sea. They lean in, they anchor; both equal in weight, they softly collide like underwater mermaids. They are most happy to be stuck.

Since Luigi did not have a date (difficult to imagine considering the fact that he lost much weight and looks positively groovy now) my husband stepped in, and again, the camera was tickled. Control group couple number 5.


This is as close as Charles and Lucy could manage to scootch their tired old bodies. But they feel the love, and so do we. And they could tell us all some stories; some would be silly, they would both have different points of view, there would be arguing before, during, and after, but for them, the same blood that boils for a good fight is the same blood that boils for some good love. They are happy to be stuck.


This photo of Leanne and her husband was taken before my obsession with love took over. Even so we see that they fit like a rainbow after the rain. A jolly couple. Basking in their "stuckness," if you will. But what happens when you tell them to turn on the love...

They have found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Classic example of the details one can notice in a captured momentary fraction of a second.

Tobi and His wife Jessica made it to number one. Happy happy happy to be stuck stuck stuck.

Tied at number one was Amy and Paulo. They've been there and done that and it's all good. While Amy does not see why she has to love her big lug in public (and thinks that I am a big, obnoxious idiot), she does, and he knows it. And she knows he loves her too, perhaps a bit too much (nudge nugde wink wink).

Had the camera taken it's shots at these couples a split second after or before the actual shots were taken, results may not have turned out the same at all. From this experiment comes the question, if you put someone on the spot, will they truly give you what you want? Or will they fake it? Question still remaining, can a camera really tell no lies?

Blogger note: For the fairness of experiment, no photo taken for this test was excluded. All results were the momentary opinion of the writer only, and no real truths can be believed but ones own. No photos may be copied, saved, or otherwise lifted from this blog, or the form this post was read or distributed to you in, from this site. In other words, if you are reading this, let your eyes do the reading, ponder, make your own experiment, move on. No words, phrases, sentences, or sections may be duplicated in any way shape or form, in part or in whole, by anyone other than the blogger or in comments by the reader. Names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty. Please note that this has been a speculatory piece of fiction. We'd love to hear from you. What were your impressions? Let us know!

A Star Wars Merry Christmas to All

AND MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU!
(Thrift store finds? Bless you Santa! You totally rock!)

Peter Sellers

While looking for some good comedy sketches to post on my MySpace page, I came across some Peter Sellers videos that I hadn't seen before, mostly because I was too young, and these interviews/videos/television sketches/etc were obscure to my life as a Greek immigrant's daughter in midwest American suburbia. As I watched, one after the other, I couldn't help but remember the genious of this man and how he effected and affected my life. His career gave me something intangible that I have always clung to as tangibly as I can. Take a look, enjoy, and let me know what you think.



PETER SELLERS WAS ONE OF THE GREATEST GENIUSES OF ALL TIMES. PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THE OPENING SKIT IN THIS TRIBUTE. SADLY IT SAYS IT ALL. SPECIAL THANKS TO THE PERSON WHO PUT THIS TOGETHER. THANK YOU. I THINK I'M GOING TO HAVE TO WATCH "BEING THERE" AGAIN...IT' BEEN TOO LONG.

200 Words or Less... Oops, I Missed That Part

I entered a contest on facebook. The prize: win free tickets to see Ellen, live. The rules, an essay about yourself and why you should be picked to see the show, and be in the audience, in 200 words or less. Thankfully I noticed this before clicking enter. Unfortunately, this is what I had to offer before much cutting and scrapping.

I first ran across Ellen on her standup debut. I wasn’t there, I watched on television. I would have liked to have been there though, that would have been something, now wouldn’t it. Any who, I’ve wanted to see Ellen since I cracked my gut open when I saw her first stand up routine on TV. I thought, “OMG she understands me! She gets it!”

I love laughing until tears stream out of my eyes, and then I start crying (not for real); it would be nice if I could cry. Well, okay I cried the five times I gave birth. So I taped most of it on my VCR and watched it religiously (her show not me giving birth) until her sitcom came out. Then I watched and taped and watched that religiously. So in a nutshell, I love to watch her at work. Plus, I really, really, really, need a vacation, the kind where you do what you want to do and to hell with the kids, it's Mommy's time to run up and down the aisles throwing candy and popcorn at everyone!

In case you haven’t Googled me ever, I’m a mother of four, five if you include my husband. I'm 37; I thought I was 38 for months now, but then I figured out I was 37 not 38 so I'm happy about that, although I don't really know why because now I'll just die at like 106 instead of 107, but I don't really know if I want to live THAT long, It's not like I'm in the bible; those people lived forever, didn't they?

I have two dogs, two cats, and a guinea pig named Arnold (I keep wanting to call him Harold, that's my sister's fiancé’s name; thankfully he doesn't mind, the guinea pig I mean, not Harry, I think Harry minds.) I love to keep organized but the people around me don't, so this is a problem for me. I love steak. LOVE IT. I even wrote a blog about it on my MySpace blog page and posted it onto my facebook page. (Hope the steak thing isn't a problem. Everyone's different, you know)

And, finally, my favorite thing to do is prank call my sister at odd times of the day or night pretending I'm someone else or like I'm having some sort of odd emergency. It always gets on her nerves. We were talking about this over Thanksgiving dessert, which we had the night after Thanksgiving, and she said she was thankful that her roommate in college was deaf and couldn't hear the phone in the middle of the night.

Oh, and I guess I should say, "Hi Ellen! Congratulations on the fabulous wedding."

Wait! Ellen! Wait! I'M NOT DONE!


In case you're wondering, I didn't win.

But I Forgot to Take a Picture

They say that we dream in black and white, and that our memories are in black and white as well. So I suppose I will remember my dearest sweetest Arnold with no alterations needed. But what happens when I can't remember what he looks like? That his soft black ears were the shape of tender ginkgo leaves? That he had a white stripe of fur that ran just to the left of his twitchy nose? That his white whiskers were the wilyest, craziest, boingiest I'd ever seen? That he looked as though he had on a stylish white shoulder cape that suited him very nicely indeed?



What happens when you haven't drawn a portrait and hadn't taken pictures together because you thought there was so much more time? And what if, at the time, the thought of photos were interrupted anyway because he was so excited to see you every day, and because snuggles and happy to be together time took up your time? What happens when no one thought to capture those moments for you?

What happens when the best you can do is a Nokia cell phone, in the dead of night, on the front porch, in below freezing weather, with no shoes or socks, hoping that somehow a little life may show through the lense? A little life you wish you still had.

Blog and emotional relief inspired by R.I.P. My Dear Smokey. Thanks Bill.

A special thank you to J A S for "Very Still Life". That meant a lot to me.

A special thank you to Envision hope for "Missing Arnold". Thank you for that beautiful tribute. I'm glad you two met.

Happy Chanukah! Remembering when...

It's a small world; and here in America it's even smaller. This is because most of us have multi country/multi continental backgrounds; and many of us have still traceable and visitable roots in foreign lands. We are, in a wonderful sense, art full collages.

In our family, we have some very interesting foreign relatives. We would like to wish them a Happy Chanukah. Here are some photos from their last visit about a year ago.

Good ol' Uncle Seymour

.קיוויתי עבור חלק bagels עם חמצן נוזלי. מה אין לך חמצן נוזלי? אתה רוצה אני צריך לשים על הפנים שלי עצוב?*

Aunt Gelda

Seymour! הבטחת להתנהג עצמך!**

Little Sal

אתה כזה קטנה cutie. בוא לפה ותן לי לסחוט אותם בלחיים!***

* I was hoping for some bagels with lox. What you do not have lox? You want I should put on my sad face?

**Seymour! You promised to behave yourself!

*** You are such a cutie! Come here and let me squeeze those cheeks!

English to Hebrew translation courtesy of Google Translate.

What a good fabric will do for you...

Seldom did she think this, let alone say it.
It was the one thing that stood to reason in her mind, however, as the breeze nestled itself amongst the petunias and lilacs; tossing fragrance all about her, seeping into her clothes like summer.



A good fabric will soak up the scent of a simile.

Greetings and Salutations

HAPPY SOLSTICE TO ALL

Just a Bunch of Hooey

Hy-en welcome to Hooey, the show where you can spit and curse and still come away with nothing.

Mined Mind

Have you mined for your mind? Thrice I thought I might. But alas, it is not a pleasure to seek for what is lost, when one knows one will not find it.





Edvard Munch's The Scream 1893.

Vors Bras A Scrabble Inspiration

Vors Bras, bras with an air navigational radio aid which uses phase comparison of a ground transmitted signal to determine bearing. (This term is derived from the words "very high frequency omnidirectional radio range.") Try a Vors Bra today. MADE EXCLUSIVELY FOR WOMEN ON THE GO!

"Woman on the go" (as I like to call it) clipart courtesey of microsoft clipart.

Mlle Beulah

Her voice was like the whisper of the finest sheets money could buy. Her skin soft and tempting beneath the pearls that draped her neck and shoulders. The fiery, sheer, crimson of her lipstick could melt diamonds, could accomplish the impossible. Her beauty never faltered. Her eyes welcomed the mysterious, the daring, the richness of life. The soft lines of her arms and back led one to believe that if they followed, time would slow and secrets would be heard.




Pulp fiction/romance novel blurb Inspired by above cafe poster.

A Bit of Frieda Babbley Wisdom

He who scolds another's dotings scolds ten.

Top Story and Weather: Inspired By a Game of Scrabble

Our top story for the day: Donjon wifed yet another. Also in the news, another wife laughed at her life, but not so hard. First let's go to meteorologist Frank Davis with a look at our local weather.

Thanks Betty. Well it sure is windy out there, but don't let THAT fool you. That's the warm front PUSHING it's way into the bi-state area. Yes folks it's going to be nearing 100... DEGREES out there today; with humidity it COULD feel much hotter. GOOD news IS, Friday's temperatures will diminish SLIGHTLY. Yes folks, summer is JUST... around the corner.

And thank you Frank for that all-around update. Will there be anyone else exciting join-ing you at the anchor desk? And what ever happened to Donjon?

That's my job, Carol. I DO what I can... WHATEVER the weather. Huh, huh, huh. And I THINK ...BETTY can answer that question for us, BETTY?

Thank you CAROL, FRANK. Our top story tonight concerns the man INFAMOUSLY knOWN... as Donjon. Joining us this hour via satelight in Aqueda La Har is BFS NEWSanchor, Tom STEINburker. TOM...

YES. HELLO. IM STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF WHAT APPEARS TO BE ... AN ORNATE VIAND IN CELEBRATION OF THE FIFTEENTH MARRIAGE OF THE INFAMOUS SAND TYCOON... DONJON. HIS MARRIAGE TO ... NAHIRA BA-TON... 16TH DAUGHTER OF LOCAL PEASANT... VAR - NA NA NA ... HAS COME AS QUITE A SHOCK. NEVERTHELESS, IT IS SAID, THAT DONJON DESCRIBES HER AS THE FINEST GRAIN OF SAND... AND SIMPLY HAS TO HAVE HER. ...AS YOU CAN SEE, FESTIVITIES ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY... IT IS SAID THAT WHEN THE WATER... FLOWN IN FROM NEIGHBORING VILLAGE, ...CATALA ... RUNS DRY,... IT WILL BE LIFE AS USUAL, IN THE PALACE. BACK TO YOU.

THANK you, Tom. Well, that IS SOMETHING, ISn't it? WOW. .. COMING uP, CLEANERS, imported from CHINA, are SAID to have been the cause of .. conjunctavitis.. Ohio woman Deloris Viles ... tells her story. Find out if YOU're just seeing things... after this commercial break.

Over Coffee and Cake: A Conversation

M: “Have you heard?”
L: “Yes.”
M: “A shame, isn’t it?
L: “Yes, quite a shame.”
M: “You’d think we would have known sooner.”
L: “I know.”
M: “Why didn’t they tell us?”
L: “Well, I suppose they hoped things would have turned out different.”
M: “Yes, I suppose so… But still.”
L: “Well, would you have told anyone?”
M: “I would have told you.”
L: “That’s different.”
M: “Maybe.”
L: “There might me more to it than we know.”
M: “What more could there be?”
L: “Lots.”
M: “Yes, you could be right. Still, it was quite a shock. If they had said something earlier on this whole mess could have been avoided.”
L: “Well, they probably wanted to figure things out on their own.”
M: “There are so many books on the subject. They could have at least looked there. I could have let them borrow some of mine.”
L: “Perhaps they didn’t have the time. It was all on such short notice, you know.”
M: “This is true.”
L: “Or maybe they thought everything was under control. Maybe they didn’t realize it until it was too late; and they couldn’t turn back, now, could they.”
M: “One should always be prepared for these things, especially the inexperienced.”
L: “Ah, but the inexperienced tend not to know that they’re inexperienced. Besides, they’re not the first ones to go through this. You remember. You and I were in their shoes once. (soft chuckle.) Seems so long ago. We did get over it. We did learn from our mistakes.”
M: “Things are different now… Oh, perhaps you’re right.”
L: “Yes. I think so.”
M: “I feel better about this. Do you think I should take them something? You know, to let them know it’s okay?”
L: “I think you should stay right where you are and finish your cake. Would you like some more coffee?”
M: “It would only take a moment to whip something up and take it over to them. It might make them feel better.”
L: “Or it might make them think you feel sorry for them.”
M: “Perhaps your right. We wouldn’t want that.”
L: “What’s say we sit in the sun like a couple of cats when we’re finished… till the mail comes.”
M: “Sounds wonderful… I wonder if we’ll be receiving an invitation to the Smiths. Their dinner parties are always so beautiful.”
L: “They are aren’t they?”
M: “They do have experience.”
L: “That they do. That they do.”

Past Lives

According to a facebook quiz application, "Who were you in a past life?" I was Pablo Picasso.

In this life I, "continue to be revolutionary, stubborn, an active lover, enjoy breaking the rules, and react poorly to heartbreak." Hmmm. That sounds about right.

Being Prepared is No Laughing Matter

It is a good idea to store some nuts for those cold winter months.

Running Into Walls, Running Into Walls, Running Into Walls

Sometimes you just need to run into walls.

What Luck! Viking Relatives to Visit the States, Just in Time for the Holidays!

As luck should have it, our cousins from Norway have written to let us know that they will be visiting us again for the holidays. It has been two years since their last visit, when they came bearing gifts of swords and shields for everyone! I thought you may enjoy a brief photo blog of our last gathering. Enjoy.

Cousin Eusphaun

Cousin Svendlflaus

Unfortunately cousin Svendlflaus is a mean drunk.

We had to confiscate the weapons. This put him in a melancholy slump.

(So sorry old chum.)

Cousin Blashimsven the Barbarian

(He is gentler than he looks.)

Singing the Barbie Doll Blues

Barbie. Famous for decades among little girls and women alike.

She stirs up controversy. She is ridiculed for her beauty and grace. She is collected, accessorised, and, mated. Her reputation is blemished to say the least; yet she always comes out on top. She is a superstar.*

Barbie's resume is impressive. She has withstood the test of time and is adored by her fans worldwide. You would be hard pressed, especially in this day and age, to speak to a single woman or girl who can look you in the eyes and say that she has never received a Barbie as a gift, or that she does not still have hers tucked away in a nice keepsake chest somewhere in the attic.

Turn to the female on your left and ask her to share with you a Barbie story, and chances are good that her cheeks will blush and they will be more than happy to oblige. Speak of dolls in general and the same will apply. Envisionhope was reminded of her own Barbie story after reading "A Little Girl's Fashion Faux Pas". She commented:

"When I was around ten-years-old I got a Barbie doll. She was the original version. I loved her high ponytail and perky attributes.

"A short time later I found that one of her bossomly features was indented. I have no idea how this occurred, but she bares the mark to this day. I loved her even though she wasn't perfect and realize now how this doll imitates life -- that true beauty is not skin deep."

I too was in awe of Barbie's "perky attributes". Unfortunately, I have no Barbie stories to share with the person to my right. Barbies were seen as a ridiculous, laughable, no-no and my mother never allowed me to play with them, not to even think about playing with them. Ever. "Silly", was the word she used, in a disgusted voice, when I'd tell her of a friend's new Fashion Barbie, or when we saw the ads on television, or passed them in the doll aisle. It wasn't because she (Barbie) was non-argumentatively disproportionate, or that she was a bimbo. It wasn't even her anorexic reputation**.

It was because of Barbie's mammalian protuberances. She said, "If you are old enough to play with a doll with boobs, you are old enough to have boobs of your own, in which case you should not be playing with dolls." She said this dismissively, as if I should have already known this information. That was the answer I repeatedly got, until I tired of it and decided to suffer alone in the quiet of my heart.

Apparently, Santa felt the same, because there was never a Barbie under the tinsel tree, waiting for me to tell her how lovely she looked. Nor where her accessories hiding gleefully in my stocking.

I don't expect to get one this year either, and I don't mind this one bit. You see, she was right about the boobies. Besides which, mine are anatomically correct.

I'm sorry Barbie, but we were not made for each other.

*This is not a fake Barbie! It is "Alfred Hitchcock The Birds Barbie"! She does come with all you see here, birds and handbag. She is from Matel. You may be hard pressed to find her, but she's out there, so have a yourself a google search!

**In 1965, Slumber Party Barbie came with her own weight loss book that suggested not eating was a good route to take.

A special thanks to Envisionhope for inspiring this Barbie blog.