I entered a contest on Facebook. The prize: win free tickets to see Ellen, live. The rules, an essay about yourself and why you should be picked to see the show, and be in the audience, in 200 words or less. Thankfully I noticed this before clicking enter. Unfortunately, this is what I had to offer before much cutting and scrapping.
Wait! Ellen! Wait!I first ran across Ellen on her standup debut. I wasn’t there, I watched on television. I would have liked to have been there though, that would have been something, now wouldn’t it. Any who, I’ve wanted to see Ellen since I cracked my gut open when I saw her first stand up routine on TV. I thought, “OMG she understands me! She gets it!”I love laughing until tears stream out of my eyes, and then I start crying (not for real); it would be nice if I could cry. Well, okay I cried the five times I gave birth. So I taped most of it on my VCR and watched it religiously (her show not me giving birth) until her sitcom came out. Then I watched and taped and watched that religiously. So in a nutshell, I love to watch her at work. Plus, I really, really, really, need a vacation, the kind where you do what you want to do and to hell with the kids, it's Mommy's time to run up and down the aisles throwing candy and popcorn at everyone!
In case you haven’t Googled me ever, I’m a mother of four, five if you include my husband. I'm 37; I thought I was 38 for months now, but then I figured out I was 37 not 38 so I'm happy about that, although I don't really know why because now I'll just die at like 106 instead of 107, but I don't really know if I want to live THAT long, It's not like I'm in the bible; those people lived forever, didn't they?
I have two dogs, two cats, and a guinea pig named Arnold (I keep wanting to call him Harold, that's my sister's fiance's name; thankfully he doesn't mind, the guinea pig I mean, not Harry, I think Harry minds.) I love to keep organized but the people around me don't, so this is a problem for me. I love steak. LOVE IT. I even wrote a blog about it on my MySpace blog page and posted it onto my Facebook page. (Hope the steak thing isn't a problem. Everyone's different, you know)
And, finally, my favorite thing to do is prank call my sister at odd times of the day or night pretending I'm someone else or like I'm having some sort of odd emergency. It always gets on her nerves. We were talking about this over Thanksgiving dessert, which we had the night after Thanksgiving, and she said she was thankful that her roommate in college was deaf and couldn't hear the phone in the middle of the night.
Oh, and I guess I should say, "Hi Ellen! Congratulations on the fabulous wedding."
In case you're wondering, I didn't win.