Tuesday, December 23, 2008

200 Words or Less... Oops, I Missed That Part


I entered a contest on Facebook. The prize: win free tickets to see Ellen, live. The rules, an essay about yourself and why you should be picked to see the show, and be in the audience, in 200 words or less. Thankfully I noticed this before clicking enter. Unfortunately, this is what I had to offer before much cutting and scrapping.


I first ran across Ellen on her standup debut. I wasn’t there, I watched on television. I would have liked to have been there though, that would have been something, now wouldn’t it. Any who, I’ve wanted to see Ellen since I cracked my gut open when I saw her first stand up routine on TV. I thought, “OMG she understands me! She gets it!”
I love laughing until tears stream out of my eyes, and then I start crying (not for real); it would be nice if I could cry. Well, okay I cried the five times I gave birth. So I taped most of it on my VCR and watched it religiously (her show not me giving birth) until her sitcom came out. Then I watched and taped and watched that religiously. So in a nutshell, I love to watch her at work. Plus, I really, really, really, need a vacation, the kind where you do what you want to do and to hell with the kids, it's Mommy's time to run up and down the aisles throwing candy and popcorn at everyone!

In case you haven’t Googled me ever, I’m a mother of four, five if you include my husband. I'm 37; I thought I was 38 for months now, but then I figured out I was 37 not 38 so I'm happy about that, although I don't really know why because now I'll just die at like 106 instead of 107, but I don't really know if I want to live THAT long, It's not like I'm in the bible; those people lived forever, didn't they?

I have two dogs, two cats, and a guinea pig named Arnold (I keep wanting to call him Harold, that's my sister's fiance's name; thankfully he doesn't mind, the guinea pig I mean, not Harry, I think Harry minds.) I love to keep organized but the people around me don't, so this is a problem for me. I love steak. LOVE IT. I even wrote a blog about it on my MySpace blog page and posted it onto my Facebook page. (Hope the steak thing isn't a problem. Everyone's different, you know)

And, finally, my favorite thing to do is prank call my sister at odd times of the day or night pretending I'm someone else or like I'm having some sort of odd emergency. It always gets on her nerves. We were talking about this over Thanksgiving dessert, which we had the night after Thanksgiving, and she said she was thankful that her roommate in college was deaf and couldn't hear the phone in the middle of the night.

Oh, and I guess I should say, "Hi Ellen! Congratulations on the fabulous wedding."
Wait! Ellen! Wait!
I'M NOT DONE!


In case you're wondering, I didn't win.

7 comments:

captain cloud said...

You are Good
You are Great
You are Wonderful
and gosh darnit, people like you
You are a winner.
(Sorry about the tickets though)

J A S said...

This entry reminds me of The Catcher In The Rye- meltdown central. The picture of Ellen leaving by taxi made me hoot.

I think a Dyslexics' Dictionary would be grand. When we decide on name, I can design it and you lift comments onto it? Can we then fine tune/edit our own comments a bit- mine will be typo central...

Perhaps we can develop our word blurbs- then post comments to one another- like a conversation- as we have done?

SHESMS! I do beg your pardon-

Ha,Ha- misspelled word. Now on DIESHELS.

Frieda Babbley said...

Doesn't it though? And I laughed so hard writing it, but even harder when I found a spot for that perfect picture and captioned it. Ahhh, I crack myself up!

Dyslexics' Dictionary is THE PERFECT NAME! I knew you'd come up with something awesome.
So would you like to add it to your blog then since you're the designer?
And yes, we will definitely have to edit our comments because I can't spell worth a damn sometimes.
I think the comments are a wonderful idea. Let's do that. You lead the way.
I shouldn't have signed in to comment because now I don't have a special word. And dieshels, aren't those kind of like the special cleaner mom's use on their kids' faces? You remember the one. Of course, it's the generic counterpart; and unfortunately, like fashion, never quite up to par with the real thing.

J A S said...

Shemut- not quite a full blown bitch, but one of those snide friends who like to be nicey-nicey, then will slap you in the face with something nasty, leaving you on the back foot and unable to answer back. They then move the conversation on, as though nothing had happened. Bloody shemut.

I will do that for blog- in a day or so.....after the Christmas madness. Hope you are having fun- I used to have a cutout of Chewbacca. I loved it- a perfect gift for a 30 year old!

You have another blog!

J A S said...

Forgot to say- I was dancing to your Olivia Newton John vid.- great look- must get some clam diggers and boots.

Cremmil donuts for breakfast.

J A S said...

You have a look of Ann Bancroft- get working that look.

Frieda Babbley said...

I have to say cremmil donuts make a most excellent breakfast. Dip them in tea! But don't eat them around a shemut or you're libel to get flaked and walluped. That's my two shillings worth anyway.

Glad you enjoyed Olivia. The two of us knew that whole album backwards and forewards. I still know all the words to every song by heart. And I think some clam diggers and boots would be ragingly fabulous. Bring them back in style! I myself would probably look like a peasant on a cranberry farm. No good. No good.

This came to me and I can't let it go, so tell me what you think:
"STATING THE OBVIOUS
verified conversations"
What do you think? Let me know!

Hope you had a fabulous Christmas and that festivities are still lively. Boris tried to protect me from Hans Solo and hasn't stayed away from me since Christmas Eve. Too devoted? Yes. But I act like he's doing a fabulous job. He is very proud. Seraphina jumped up and bit Luke Skywalker in the knee. Needless to say, the excuse for Champagne this holiday season has been exceptionally nice.

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